Vince (and the Crew) (oxojamm) wrote,
Vince (and the Crew)

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A Monologue from a drunken trapper:

"Hell you say! YOU Never fell in Love with a 89 Pound Midget!

Why it was, let me see...right after we rustled them steers on BICYCLES in Hoboken New Jersey!...Yep!

(Course they dont normaly do it that way but "Glass-Eye" Wang...well, thats all he had was them old bicycles and well, I had to fight off a HEARD O' SAVAGE HOUND DAWGZ nippin and a clawing at me!.. but I put on my WARFACE and just walked right through um!....Well, Sort of...)

Yee-Yahh! (Crack) Yee-Yahh! (Crack) Why, We had ta ride with NO HANDS Just so's we could rope um!!! (You try it sometimes N see if you dont wind up with your Peanuts in a twist!).....

An after we Sold the steers (and tha bicycles) we split up the money.... an Grady McStevens (That no-Good-Son-of-A-Whore) thought he'd get tha drop on me! BUT I OUT DREW HIM and blew his big toe off!!! (an there he was for 3 days a-lookin for that can ask anybody).......

And when I had thrown all the FRENCH Sailors outta tha place and was gettin fixed ta throw myself out ...there she was..a-sittin on tha piano....Pretty as a picture (with an iron claw where her right hand should have been) and next thing I knew I was wakin up in bed with a smile on my face.....

Elma was her name....................Elma Was her Name.................................."

Tags: drunk, drunken, midget, steers, trapper

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