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A Monologue from a drunken trapper:

"Hell you say! YOU Never fell in Love with a 89 Pound Midget!

Why it was, let me see...right after we rustled them steers on BICYCLES in Hoboken New Jersey!...Yep!

(Course they dont normaly do it that way but "Glass-Eye" Wang...well, thats all he had was them old bicycles and well, I had to fight off a HEARD O' SAVAGE HOUND DAWGZ nippin and a clawing at me!.. but I put on my WARFACE and just walked right through um!....Well, Sort of...)

Yee-Yahh! (Crack) Yee-Yahh! (Crack) Why, We had ta ride with NO HANDS Just so's we could rope um!!! (You try it sometimes N see if you dont wind up with your Peanuts in a twist!).....

An after we Sold the steers (and tha bicycles) we split up the money.... an Grady McStevens (That no-Good-Son-of-A-Whore) thought he'd get tha drop on me! BUT I OUT DREW HIM and blew his big toe off!!! (an there he was for 3 days a-lookin for that toe...you can ask anybody).......

And when I had thrown all the FRENCH Sailors outta tha place and was gettin fixed ta throw myself out ...there she was..a-sittin on tha piano....Pretty as a picture (with an iron claw where her right hand should have been) and next thing I knew I was wakin up in bed with a smile on my face.....

Elma was her name....................Elma Was her Name.................................."

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It's the BOMB, (Pun Intended)!


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 12th, 2007 10:16 pm (UTC)
Haa I was wondering!!
I was wondering when you were going to get around to recording this in your journal. Its one of the best folklore tales ever!

Thanks for preserving this, Vincent. It would have been a shame if it was lost to history.

Dec. 12th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
Re: Haa I was wondering!!
That was your Grand-Pappy, Wasnt it???.....(^>)

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )