So I'm sitting there in the darkened corner... minding my own Business.... watching Masters cut a rug with Leggs....Ryan trying to keep up with a girl who can REALLY dance.
..and Luis and Brandon and some of our local friends and fans getting crazy....when this Pretty girl comes walking around the service Divider, Crying.
I put down my drink, turned to her and said what's the matter Dear?... "Don't you call me dear you Bastard!" She replied...(Still sniffling)
"Huh, what did I do?" Was my astonished reply...
She retorts, "You know damned well what you did....I Did everything for you...I washed your clothes ...polished your car...kept your house spotless...made nifty things for you all the time....gave you my body and did anything you wanted in bed or anywhere any time you wanted it....I even smoked that elephant cock because you told me too and then you...."
"Now wait just a Minute..Elephant cock?....that wasn't me...I don't even have a Steady Girlfriend right now, i'm Just dateing...and if I did I sure as Hell wouldn't be telling her to go smoke some elephants cock!"
"Oh God Im sorry...I thought...you looked so much like him, anyway (Sniff-Sniff) It wasn't a real Elephants cock...it was just some Guy who's a Musician that my you...er I mean my Boyfriend rides with, who's got a really big cock..."
"Oh Shit!...(Surprised/Relieved, *Sighs*).....well (Ahem)....it sure is nice to meet you again......You doin anything for the next hour or so????.....(^>)
And so you Men of action out there: Heres a tribute to the Girl who never lets a Man down, will do anything for him no matter what, never leaves him unsatisfied and is always ready for more!
And to all you LAMERS out there who wonder why your relationships are so fucked up?....Try giving a little respect to your Girl!
Really, thats all she wants.... and if she tells you that she dosen't need a ring?...keeps saying, "Our Love is enough"....You better get a second or third or forth job and start salting it away for a really nice Rock for her because: One day she will wake up and realise what a cheap self centered asshole you are and leave you for someone who will really appreciate her!
Here, in case you neeed a roadmap:
AND if you really get with the program and get her the ring of her dreams:
Now if none of that works...Kick the moochin piece of shit out of the freakin house!!!
Jus Say,"Get Out My House, Bytch!" Let her hit the streets and take it on the arches! All women are WHORES anyway!!!.... and if she dosent appreciate you workin 3 jobs and going without lunch, beer money and no Ganja so she can have a nice ring (that shows you respect her) then FUCK IT!!!.........
Had you, Didn't I???.....LOL!....LOLOLOLOL!!!!!...(*AHEM*
..Now Let's see..where the hell wuz I?.....Oh, Oh Yeah:
Try a self help book on how to EAT PUSSY!... Cause you must be doing something wrong, Dude.
(Really, Eating Pussy is one of the GREAT Magnanimous things in LIFE....It's Like the Stonehenge, only it taste's way better than Rock)
But actually....I still think you must be an ASSHOLE......
Because all kidding aside: Women are perfect!...and no matter how big an ASSHOLE you are there is still some poor righteous Babe out there that is crazy about you! So, count your Lucky stars and BUY HER THE FREAKIN RING ALLREADY!......Just Buy it Dawg!....Buy It!!!!......(^>)
There...That feels better.
Copyright 2005 or earlier,OXOjamm, all Rights Reserved.