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March 22nd, 2005

Those were the Dayz....

Marine Corps Recruit Depot
San Diego.


Marine Corps Recruit Depot
San Diego.


Dear Ma and Paa;

I want you to know Im real sorry for leaving home to go seek stardom out here in California. I figgures if Arnold could do it, anybody could... but as things worked out I really hit Paydirt!

First thing I did was to go to the Govt. Operated job service and say,: "Gee Mister I sure could use a Job Actin....ya know, Like Arnold..in a Movie."
He said, "Do you have a high School Diploma?"...I said "Sure I do." and I took it out and showed him. ( please thank everyone at the vocational school for me cuse we all know I couldent-a Made it without them.

Then he said, "You ever see that Movie "JARHEAD"?... And I told um How I thought that was the Most Kick ass Movie I ever saw and then he said, Well OK then, Just follow me..... He said, "Were going to be making a telivision epic like you wont believe!" and soon I was standing in front of this man who they say was looking for the "few and the proud"......Well since the last fued we had back home there aint many of us left but we sure are proud!...so I said to him. "Can I start today?" and before you know it I was Livin LARGE In a big Corporation called, "The United States Marine Corporation." (Marine Corps, for short).

Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the good JOBS are filled. (and the good spots go pretty Quick)..For instance, I am going to be trained to find Mines..Can you imagine?...all them years Pa worked in them Mines and now they need people to go back and find them.....also they pay us for SHOOTIN PEOPLE!!!! but ill have to get to that in another letter

I was restless the first night because you got to stay in your bed till nearly 5:00 AM but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your bed out and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to build. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. And, they give you every little darn thing you need...your underwear..your socks...an soap, an all your cloths!...Hell they even gave me my own little pocket knife and a shovel of my OWN and guess what..My very own Rifle!!! For Free!!!!!!

Now everything is gotta be kept clean but not nearly as clean as our stuff back home (an they don't nearly get as mad as you as Paa does when we mess up...Hell Paa could Wup any 5 of these here teachers ...(Oops sorry Paa, I didnt mean to embarras ya....Im Just so proud)

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon and stuff.... actually it's a lot like "Buddy Freddys" used to be before they Started servin day old food, but kind of weak on chops, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by two city boys that think they can live on coffee (LOL!!!), their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed all over again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much...they need ta be force fed!

We go on what they call, "route marches", which the Sergeant says are long walks to harden us up.....Well... If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different, Cause a "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home! (Then the city Doodz get sore feet and we all hafta ride back in trucks!) The countryside here is nice but kinda flat like a potato pancake.

We got some nice folks takin care of us too:

There is the Corporal: He's like a Teacher aide..If you got a problem you go to him first. Sometimes he thinks he's "God" though.

The Sergeant: is like a schoolteacher, he nags some and looks real mean...but only like Paa when he really means different and unlike the Corporal, he really is God.

The Lieutenant: is like a Truant Officer..standin there lookin Tough,but really he's just makin sure we dont kill each other....(they told me He "Signs" for everything.....whatever that means cause there aint no Deaf People here, (though the Sergeants talk to everybody like they are).

The Captain: is like the school board. He talks a lot of Bullshit with other Captains and dosn't get much done except once in a while they cook up a nifty class trip for us so we can have some fun blowin things up.

Majors and Colonels: just ride around and frown at people so's everybody can practice their Salutin, But they don't bother you none an they ask us directions a lot an its fun to tell them how to get back home or to the mess hall so's they dont starve to death ridin in circles.

Then theres this big Boss called the General: ...He's kinda like the Pope..he's real friendly but you sure as hell don't want to mess with Him!
(I was told he's the "Director" of this here T.V. Epic were gonna make.)

When Walt and Elmer hear this they are gonna Bust the gut........... They keep givin me all these medals for shootin!!!
I don't know why.....The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move at all. And it ain't shooting back at you Neither!!! ( like the Higgett boys we wuped at home durin the last fued.) The only way you could miss is if you shot at the city boys target (So's he Could Pass). Hell its only 600 yards away! Some Body better tell the General that they need to move um back so's we can at least say it was a challenge!

All you got to do is lie there all comfortable like and hit it. You don't even have to load your own Bullets! They come all put together in little boxes. We have to walk around afterward and pick up all of the fired ones an put them in a barrel for our corporal to sell to his friend. (Shhh..IM not supposed to know that but he throws me $20.00 a week for not tellin).

Then we have what they call "hand-to-hand" combat training. (Scuse me fer snickerin) You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though.....I already got in troubble and had to do the dishes for everybody for a coupple Of nights cause them city boys broke so darn easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I don't think them city boys drink much Milk!

Dont mean to Brag but I'm about the best they got here in this place.... except for that Elmer Ambry Dude from over in Silver Lake..... He musta joined up the same time as me. But I'm only 5'6" and he's 6'8" and still, he only got me
3 outta 5.

So give every body my love and tell them Im O.K. but don't go tellin every body im a big success yet cause
it'll probibly be a while yet before I get that Generals Job.........

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in ta take all the good shootin jobs.

Tell them this here Marine Corps also pay fellers just for Blowin things UP!!!
(They even give you free bombs to do it with) Can you Imagine that??????? Now we can save all our Dynimite for the 4th of July!!!


Your Ever Lovin Daughter;
Gail.
My Kind of Girl!
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Jamm
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